I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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