she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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