Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i will never coherently bang her
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
