She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
