operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
