I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize