I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Even my vagina gasped.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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