remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
