is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Operation Purity has been aborted
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
