so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize