We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This toilet bowl is my home.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
