my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
