She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
