White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
