idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
