So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
