Having a random hookup so left but love u
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you had me at cake vodka
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
