HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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