I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
