I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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