covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
