I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
