I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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