i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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