I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
