Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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