i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize