The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
