It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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