At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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