I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am available for nakedness
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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