Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Floor bacon is actually really good
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
