I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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