Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
