My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
