Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
