Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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