Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
