Umm I'm too high to move.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
