I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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