i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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