is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I FOUND THE LEGS
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
