Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
