it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
