My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
