awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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