Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
