did you get engaged???
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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