All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
