tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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