I hate your face
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
did i walk over a car last night?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
