If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
