I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
