i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
