so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
