Barsexuality is the new black.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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