If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
